The Ultimate Self-Care Guide for Moms in 2023
What is Self-Care?
What is self-care, then? Self-care is taking time to do things that help you live well and improve both your physical and mental health, following the National Institutes of Health definition. Self-care is when you practice nurturing your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. While focusing on self-care, you will focus more on reconnecting with your inner experiences than outside objects. So, regarding mental wellness, self-care often helps manage stress, lower the risk of illness, and increase your energy level. So, ultimately, the benefit of self-care is about ensuring you are at your best place.
Caring for myself is not self-indulgence. It is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare. – Audre Lorde
Why Do Moms Need Self-Care and Why It Is Important?
I didn’t know what I signed up for when I became a mom. The truth is that I didn’t know that I wouldn’t have time to look after myself unless I intentionally created some dedicated time for myself. If you are a mom, perhaps you understand what I am discussing. You are constantly juggling work and family responsibilities, and self-care is hardly placed on your to-do list per day. In fact, Forbes reported that working moms are experiencing higher levels of anxiety and depression than working fathers, with 66% of working moms reporting negative mental health impacts due to the pandemic.
Why self-care is important?
Why self-care is essential for moms? Imagine that you are a car. You can refill the tank when it is empty and wash it when it is dirty. But occasionally, you must check and perform the maintenance to ensure it is in good order. This periodic check-up sometimes prevents the car from breaking down; you wouldn’t notice something was wrong or the car is about to break down unless you had done this periodic check-up. Then what about you? You are like a car, running constantly, working hard to support the family. But what about you? When was the last time you checked on yourself, dedicate time for yourself to care about you? According to today.com, 83% of moms experience burnout due to not having dedicated self-care.
So today, I will share why self-care is crucial, the idea of self-care, and how even the busiest working moms can integrate self-care into their lives.
What are the Areas of Self-Care?
Self-care consists of 8 areas: physical, psychological, emotional, social, professional, environmental, spiritual, and financial.
5 Tips on How to Practice Self-Care
So, how can you practice self-care? There are 5 tips that I would like to share with you.
1. Practicing mindful breathing techniques and meditation for self-care
One effective way to practice self-care is by practicing mindful breathing or meditation. This technique involves taking slow and deliberate breaths, fully aware of the present moment, and letting go of any distracting thoughts. This practice helps you to reduce stress and be mindful. You can use a guiding meditation app to practice your breathing practice and meditation. For example, I use Headspace to practice my breathing and meditation, and you can set an alarm to regularly check in for your practice by using this app. I recommend you try it out; it offers a 7 to 14-day trial using this link (affiliate link).
2. Regular exercise
Incorporating regular exercise into your daily routine doesn’t have to involve hitting a gym or sweating yourself. Simply taking a quick walk around the block can improve your overall well-being.
3. Jumping into your hobbies
When was the last time you did something for yourself that made you thoroughly enjoy doing it, excluding cooking and doing something fun with children? I meant something indeed for yourself only. Engaging in hobbies that bring joy and fulfillment is one of the great ways to improve your wellness and is also a great stress reliever.
4. Setting boundaries
Setting boundaries is very important for especially busy moms. You can be easily distracted by your children or other urgent matters. That is OK, but you must compensate for yourself and dedicate time to prioritize your personal needs and self-care. As a mom, if you don’t set boundaries, it is tough to ‘stop’ your daily work because it never stops; you care for your children from the moment you wake up until you sleep, between your work, for a corporate job, or housework. Still, these occur daily; unless you stop and draw the line, it will never stop asking for your attention. So, as a mom who has already been through burnout twice, I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to set boundaries and focus on self-care. It will present burnout and maintain a sound work-life balance.
5. Seeking for professional help
There was a time when I had to speak to a psychologist. I simply didn’t know how to balance my life as I burnt out and didn’t know how to recover. If stress, anxiety, and tiredness become overwhelming, seeking therapy or counseling for help can be a valuable resource. These professionals can bring you insight that you didn’t realize and can assist in identifying underlying issues and providing copying strategies to overcome and improve the situation. Regarding your mental health and wellness, you have all rights to find help; you are NOT replaceable. So, remember to prioritize your wellness and self-care and seek support when needed.
4 Accessible Self-Care Practices for Busy Moms
I know that the five self-care tips above are a long-term adjustment. Then, what can you do to change your busy schedule immediately? I want to introduce some quick tips to improve your wellness.
1. Take a short breaks:
Every 2 hours, set an alarm to breathe. Even 5 minutes of deep breathing or a quick stroll can boost your energy level.
2. Delegate:
As I discussed in my article about the importance of delegating tasks for moms, you mustn’t be taking everything on your plate. So, ask for help, whether from family members or hiring someone.
3. Self-care baskets:
Create a place to immediately pick up your favorite items, such as books, iPads, snacks, painting equipment, and teas. You don’t have to seek or think about what to do as soon as you have time for yourself. The basket has everything you like. Just pick one!
4. Digital detox:
Did you realize that time flies when you are scrolling through social media or news? You didn’t even do much, and your precious free time is up. Then, what about setting aside time without screens? You will suddenly hear the birds and the sound of your thoughts (like Phoebe in Friends!).
P.S. There are tips to achieve digital detox effectively; click here to learn more about them.
What Are the Challenges That Moms Are Faced
She doesn’t have time for herself:
There is hardly a moment to sit down between work, kids, and house tasks. Me-time seems impossible for working moms, and it is a luxury to have.
She feels guilty:
Society expects a lot from moms, and household and family responsibilities seem to fall more on moms than dads. The statistic suggested that in 2023, 58% of moms report they are primarily responsible for the duties of running a household and caring for children, which is a 2% increase than in 2022. So, moms feel guilty about taking any self-care time off for themselves.
Burnout is her friend:
As an experienced burnout mom (click here to read more about how to avoid it), it is not new. Especially for working moms, juggling life and work is not easy, and working moms also need to perform at work and with their peers. Also, burnout is a serious issue; while a working mom has too much to do and too many shoes to fill, stay-at-home moms cannot change their landscape, are stuck with the housework and children, and are mentally exhausted by the repeated life.
Neglecting what she needs:
Mom’s shopping list is simple. What family needs to eat, wear, enjoy. What about moms? When did she have time to think about what she needed? The only need she has to attend to is going to the toilet.
What Do Moms Need for Self-Care?
Now, the most crucial question is, what do moms need for self-care? Moms have limited time and freedom (mom is never free, right?). As I discussed before, I wished to be a digital nomad, as now I am blogging. But mom cannot. Mom has a family to support. Then what does mom need to get the well-deserved self-care she needs?
Understanding:
Mom is a lonely job. Because you are a mom, you should be able to take care of your child and support your child, cook for the family, and clean up the house, set for what the family needs. Well, Mom is not a superhero. Mom is only a human. So understand and recognize her. Mom does need and deserves time to care for herself.
Supporting:
Once, I was working for an employer where I was the only mom. People in my team didn’t really understand what I needed; I would appreciate the support. Eventually, I couldn’t keep up with the work as I couldn’t give my 120% to work. I also had to dedicate myself to my family. So, from partners, family, and friends, the mom must be surrounded by a support system who she can rely on. Creating this support system helps mom take care of herself without feeling guilty since she knows they understand her and would ensure that she needs a break.
Providing Resources:
Self-care is easy when you know what helps you. It is difficult when you don’t know how to do it. So, get books, apps, or courses to guide mom on her journey to a balanced life and practice effective self-care.
What Are the Final Thoughts on Moms’ Self-Care?
Do you consider self-care to be a luxury? Well, you need to change your mind right now. Taking care of yourself isn’t a luxury; it’s a must-do. It doesn’t really matter whether your life is packed with other to-do lists and how busy your life gets. You have to make time for yourself so you can guide your life to be happier, healthier, and more resilient.
As a mom, you must realize that you are the only ‘mom’ for your children. You are not replaceable, and your well-being is the most important asset you have to invest in. So, it’s time to take action for your self-care for your well-being and the positive impact on your loved ones. Now, go ahead and put a face mask on. Play music and chill for a moment. You deserve a moment of rest; this is only the beginning of your self-care journey! Tune in for more articles about mom and working mom’s well-being and self-discovery content. Share your experiences if you are on the self-care journey. We would love to hear from you!
