Navigating life change, and embracing the unplanned

Let me start by saying this isn’t the blog post I expected to write, and I’m a bit nervous about sharing it. But here I am, feeling a little embarrassed, a little unsure—but also more determined than ever.

So, what happened? I thought I had everything figured out. I was on this mission to discover my life’s purpose, to find what I truly wanted to achieve. Then, life hit me with a curveball. At the beginning of the year, I found out I was pregnant.

Cue the chaos.

Suddenly, I wasn’t just thinking about my dreams or self-discovery. Reality came crashing in: How am I going to support a new baby? Our current budget didn’t allow for things like a new car, daycare, or even the luxury of time. I needed to keep chasing my goals and get certified, but this huge, beautiful, unexpected shift made that impossible. So, I did what I never expected to do—I reached out to my old boss.

And bless him, and he offered a position for me. I jumped back into the 9-to-5 grind, trying to mentally and physically adjust to this new reality. But then, out of nowhere, I miscarried.

Just like that, the new beginning I was preparing for disappeared.

It wasn’t planned, and its end came without warning. I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and here I was, facing yet another twist in life. But I couldn’t let my boss down, so I decided to stay on this path for now.

And here I am—back in the office. But something is different this time.

I’m working, but I’m not desperate.

I still give my best because people count on me, and I want to repay the trust my boss gave me. But the pressure is gone. I’m not trying to prove anything or cling to this job as if it’s my life’s purpose. If I need to move on, I will. But for now, I’m working for fun. I’m reconnecting with people after being anti-social for so long, and surprisingly, I’m enjoying it.

Maybe that’s the key to a happier work life—doing things because they’re enjoyable, not because I have to prove myself. When I was laser-focused on finding the meaning of life and discovering my true self, I was so obsessed with the mission that I forgot to enjoy the process. Now, I’m a step removed, and everything feels different.

This isn’t everything—this is just one part of my life.

I can work my 9-to-5, earn money, and let life pull me along, but I’m not chained to it. I see things more clearly now. I value my time, the moments when I’m doing nothing and even those random chats with coworkers. Life’s ups and downs give us new perspectives, and I’m grateful for this one.

Oh, and one more thing. I’m done pretending to be an expert. In the past, my blog was full of advice—”you need to do this,” or “here’s how to succeed at that.” But the truth is, I’m not a guru. I don’t want to write those long, research-heavy posts anymore. There are enough experts out there, and I’m happy to be a reader, not the writer of “how-to’s.”

I’ll keep writing here, but now, it’s going to be different. I’ll be sharing my raw thoughts, unfiltered feelings, and real experiences.

Thank you for being here and following along. I’m still on my journey—it just looks a little different now. But I’m not stopping.