Living Abroad as A Korean Expat in the Netherlands

The Pursuit of “Perfection”: Living abroad, but have I also transformed?

Nicknames follow us. At school. At home. Everywhere. Mine? Perfectionist, hard worker, high achiever. Before you think I’m patting myself on the back, let me clarify—it’s less of a badge of honor and more of an albatross around my neck. Not scoring top marks would see me spiraling into self-doubt, questioning everything. This “gift” shone as a mediator at work but in senior roles. It’s more like a hurdle. Delegation? Ha! How can you trust when perfection whispers in your ear?

Now, this story might have you thinking, “Where’s she headed?” Hang tight; we’re diving deep.

What is success?

My Korean pals nod in agreement when I recount these experiences. Achieving perfection, aiming for the apex—is the name of the game, right? But in the Netherlands, the rhythm is different. While my industry competes, the Dutch don’t chase perfection like a dog after a squirrel. They’re content doing their best. It’s not indifference; it’s a different calibration of what “success” means.

So, where did that leave me in this Dutch landscape? With the label: “Overachiever, Overworker, Over-everything.” Though I protested, deep down, I knew—I was THAT person.

Working in a Dutch company was a revelation. My colleagues, perhaps fueled by a cocktail or two, often quipped, “Why the marathon? Enjoy the sprint!” Their words, meant to be comforting, stirred a whirlpool of emotions within. It wasn’t a slight difference in our working patterns; it was like comparing a stroll in the park to an Olympic sprint.

So, why this difference?

Was I the diligent tortoise to their lucky hare? Not quite. I excelled, often being recognized for my efforts. Yet, my Dutch colleagues had this enviable knack for striking a balance. They didn’t just “work” work; they enjoyed it. Their approach was baffling for someone raised in the crucible of Korean competition.

Fun fact. The definition of “work” in Korean is “labor”. On the other hand, the “work (= werken)” definition in the Netherlands is “to (cause to) make efforts in order to achieve or make something.” – Do you see the differnece? That’s what I am talking about!

Decades in the Netherlands and living abroad have yet to dilute my Korean work ethos fully. I’m caught in the middle—striving to adopt the Dutch laid-back vibe while battling my in-built need to be numero uno. It’s not mere ambition that drives me; it’s the only work language I know.

The badge of the “hard worker” and beyond.

Many Asians abroad bear the badge of the “hard worker.” I get it. Our upbringing frames success in black and white. There’s the best, and then there’s the rest. Hence, even after ten years in the Netherlands and living abroad for a decade (Read my previous blog, how I became a Korean expat in the Netherlands), those Korean roots run deep. The undercurrents of our shared Eastern cultural background tie us together, an unspoken bond. If you resonate with this, if my words strike a chord, know I’m here. I’ve navigated these tumultuous waters, and helping others through them feels like destiny. I genuinely believe it’s my calling.

So, if you need a lighthouse in this storm, give me a shout. I’m right here, ready to guide you through! If you need more tips, click here for tips on expat life in the Netherlands!